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I didn't want to ruin what we had. I felt comfortable with the knowledge that I could sleep with her in my head and I could feel safe with my feelings. I tried again."Wouldn't it be better for you to wait until you found a boyfriend? Then you could bring up the subject of the book when you felt ready to, you know... um, sleep together. Practice the ones you can do yourself."She didn't reply so I figured she wasn't too keen on the idea. I decided to play along for awhile. I was curious to see how this thing would end up."Okay. How about showing me the book and perhaps we can go on from there."I stared into my coffee as she ran off to find the book. It was easier to concentrate on the swirling white froth of milk than it was to consider what I was getting myself into. I hoped that she wouldn't be able to find it. There was a part of me that didn't want to go any further with this idea but there was also that selfish bit that did. It was that fraction of desire that was playing havoc. " (a mistake I won't regret, but now that I'm older feel bad about)."Erm.. Fine." They both agreed.These next few days went by so horribly and slowly, the same routine every day. Fights, homework, projects, nervousness. Then Friday, the day of the dance, came around.Stephanie came up and grabbed my arm at the end of L.A. Class "Ready to go dance till your legs explode?" Taylor quickly followed "We will see who can last longer" and gave stephanie a mean look.We talked casually where we walked to the gym, where the dance was being held and waited an hour just helping hang up decorations. Taylor walked off to talk to one of her "girl friends" and Stephanie latched onto the situation and took a bold move."Alex, would you stop staring at my tits when you get on that ladder, your making me nervous." she said, and made me nearly fall off the ladder, and made me kinda dizzy having so much blood rush to my face."I'm... I'm sorry.." I said. Taylor had dissapeared somewhere and I was left alone.
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